In a way I feel like many of my previous posts have been leading up to this one. I guess it’s just a season of this blog; a season to work out these body image issues. It sure beats the break-up season, hey? 😉
It’s been hard for me to differentiate lately between a healthy body image and a healthy body. A doctor commented on my post about being called fat, and he or she made a good point…I can throw myself the pity party of the decade here, sure, but I do need to take this seriously. Maybe today I am not significantly overweight or “fat”, but if I am not careful I could be one day. Not to mention the fact that I used to be for sure.
Rachel (who says I could use her real name) and I tried a few months ago along with some others to lose weight. We kinda dropped the ball sometime during the summer though, all 9 of us, which is actually really embarrassing for me. And now we don’t even talk about it. Because losing weight isn’t fun. Guilt doesn’t work, and often that’s what I (we?) feel when we start to veer off track, and it’s definitely not motivating. So when I talked to Rachel a few nights ago we started talking about making healthier choices and living healthier as opposed to losing weight.
And I heard a great quote this week…
Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.
Can I getta AMEN?
At this point in my life I couldn’t care less what I weigh, and that’s the truth. But I DO care about being healthy and feeling good, and I am not really making the cut on either of those things at the moment.
So here is what I want:
A) My pants are not fitting well right now, and it would be really nice if I could save some money and not have to buy a pair of (bigger…sigh) jeans. And I figure that if I don’t have to buy bigger jeans I’ll have a few extra bucks for a decent winter jacket this year.
B) Now that the drama of the move and the first month of preschool is behind me, I can’t use those things as an excuse to not make nice dinners anymore. So I want to eat better. Not more, not less, just better.
C) I want to keep loving myself and keep working on making good choices and not being so judgemental of the girl in the mirror.
Evelyn and I stood in a field last Saturday and watch three of our friends jump out of a plane. It was pretty scary and awesome…and I was on the GROUND! Can’t even imagine what they were feeling as they fell at lightening speed toward the earth. We stood there with our hands shielding our eyes from the bright beautiful sun, searching desperately in this huge blue sky for three tiny little specks to come into focus, and I realized…
We are really, really small.
Not big. Small.
So I can put that fear behind me. The one where I am terrified that I am some kind of huge monster.
And one more little musing??
I found this on Nicki’s wall (facebook wall, that is), and I figure she wouldn’t mind me passing it on:
So, to the mean doctor and also the nice one who wrote that comment (whoever you are!), this is me taking sincere care my one wild and precious life.